


Understand Me

by Tabakat



Category: La Femme Nikita
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 22:22:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17292533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabakat/pseuds/Tabakat
Summary: Nikita lets jealousy and insecurity make her misinterpret situations that really should be obvious to her by now.





	Understand Me

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: Unbeta'ed  
> Author's notes: This is an old fic, and remains unbeated.   
> Spoilers: For the entire Show S1-5.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own La Femme Nikita. This is made for fun not profit. The author of this work of completely fictional unauthorized fannish work will has not and will not make any monetary gain off this work. While I in no way claim copyright to the show, or its creations or entities. I do claim copyright to this original piece.

_I made mistakes when I played with your mind.  
Gave you excuses with each story line  
If you ask me how I feel. My love is for real. ___

__Michael sat going through the latest mission; his latest set of lies. He hated lying to her._ _

__“You’re not lying Michael.” Madeline had said with cool logic._ _

__No, not lying just keeping things from her. God she had thought he was dying…he had been but that was hardly the point. Michael had known Section would get the antidote to him in time. He might drive Operations and Madeline to distraction and on occasion they might think he warranted discipline but he was still far too valuable to them. Now they didn’t like to risk him in the field if they could help it, instead preferring to keep him in house running tactical or at the most remote command on a mission. They would not allow themselves to be the cause behind the loss of one of the organization’s best operatives._ _

__Nikita had not known that though and he had been forbidden from telling her the truth; the cause behind his withdrawal from her. The look on her face when he had ‘turned’ to his nurse for comfort, the betrayal had made Michael wish Section would not revive him._ _

__Michael grimaced as he saw her walk across COM and this mind took him back through the events of the last week._ _

__

__~~~~ >>>~~~~_ _

__Nikita had come to visit Michael in the hospital several times. At first he had been unconscious and upon waking felt inhuman. Then seeing Nikita had been a comfort…till he remembered… the mission, always the mission!_ _

__

__“Nikita,” he started to reach out to her and stopped himself, “You shouldn’t be here.”_ _

__“Michael I-“_ _

__He turned his head away, “Stop it. Go.”  
“Michael-“_ _

__“Leave, Nikita.”_ _

__Stung she had turned to go, “I’ll go…for now.” She said leaving the door and closing the door behind her._ _

__Michael watched her go. He knew he had to do this but it was going to be one of his hardest missions in a long time. Nikita had broken the wall around his emotions and now he had to erect them again._ _

__Nikita had not given up; she had tried several times to reach out to him. Each time he had rebuffed her. Michael had made sure to reject her offers but turned and accepted those same advances from his nurse. With a calm voice and a pleased smile, Nikita watched on and took note of this marked preference._ _

__Her visits became less frequent and lengthy. She took more of a professional air with him and yet she had always tried to reach out. It was little things: Fresh flowers, opening the curtains, and small anticdote about how Birkoff or Walter had raised Madeline’s hackles. All of this could be explained away as a cover for checking on his status for Section One and yet they were just a little too personal._ _

__However, it was her smile, always warm and friendly, and her optimism as he continued to deteriorate that tore at his heart. The pain in her eyes, when he rebuffed her and the way her smile would sometimes falter when she thought he wasn’t looking or when he was visibly worsening. Michael loved her all the more for this but it had made his job just that much harder._ _

__Then Madeline had decided to up the time table. She said Medical was worried they wouldn’t be able to reverse his condition if the charade kept up much longer, after what happened Michael didn’t care…_ _

__“Hey, Michael, how are you today?” Nikita had asked brightly entering his room. Her smile faded at the sight before her; Michael and Louisa locked in a tight embrace._ _

__

__Louisa, pulled back and said, “I see you have a guest.” She straightened her uniform and placing her kiss on his lips, whispered, “I’m on later. I’ll make sure to stop by.”_ _

__As the nurse, left the room she survived the other woman, “Love your dress. The color looks good on you.” She said giving her a bright wave. Poor Louisa never knew how close she came to not making it out of the room without aid of a stretcher._ _

__To her credit Nikita had simply smiled, walked over to Michael’s bed and picked up his chart. She had entered the information into the panel but refused to look at him. “I’ll inform Madeline of your condition. She has had Medical working around the clock on the antidote, but still has been unable to work out an egress. We have determined the group responsible Davenport’s taking a team out tonight.” Her data collected and his briefing finished she had headed for the door._ _

__“Nikita-“_ _

__“I don’t want to hear it, Michael. Snow will come by tomorrow.” Nikita shut the door behind her. Michael thought this time it might be finished. Thankfully for him he had some help standing in the wings when Nikita returned to Section, with that day._ _

__~~~ >>>~~~  
 _Let’s put an end to those long lonely nights__ _

__“What’s up Sugar?” Walter asked as Nikita exchanged the Section gun, for her own weapon._ _

__“Hey, Walter.”_ _

__“Sugar, you look like you just lost your best friend.”_ _

__“Maybe I have.”_ _

__“Michael will pull through, Sugar.”_ _

__“I wish I was as sure as you are, Walter.”_ _

__“Have a little faith, Sugar. Section is not going to let him die without a fight.” He entered the munitions stacks as he said this. Nikita followed him as he knew she would. Once they were a safe distance away from the activity in the main cavern, he continued, “Come on out with it.”_ _

__“He won’t let me be there for him.”_ _

__“You know Michael. He shies away from affection and commitment.”_ _

__“That’s just it, he turned to Louisa!”_ _

__“Who’s Louisa?”_ _

__“His Nurse!”_ _

__“That doesn’t sound like him.”_ _

__“Yes it does.”_ _

__“He loves you, Sugar. You know that, have faith!”_ _

__That night Davenport’s team brought Louisa into Section; they also stopped by to collect Michael. Nikita, having been in Communications when the ETA came in, was at Van Access when Michael was rushed to Medical._ _

__Davenport studied Nikita for a minute and then said, “He’ll be fine. Section has the antidote. It’ll take some time is all.” He then continued to debrief. Unfortunately Nikita didn’t pay close attention to the comments._ _

__“Stop it!” Birkoff said under his breath as he passed._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Look, they’re starting to ask questions! Michael can be a jerk and I am sure he deserves your anger, but I also know you’re better then this. Your numbers are down. Shape up or get canceled.”_ _

__~~~ >>>~~~_ _

__“Look Sugar go easy on him,” Walter advised as Nikita talked with him._ _

__Lately she had been barely tolerant of Michael, carrying out his orders with scantly masked hostility. It reminded Walter of her early days in Section. The intense attraction held in check with a good dose of contempt for someone she had considered a monster. For his part Walter hadn’t seen Michael this shook up in a long time. Michael was trying and failing to erect the old walls. The results were all to familiar, to Section’s resident hippy, Michael the cold hard as nails Section Operative was back and Walter didn’t like it one bit._ _

__“You have got to be joking!” Nikita said._ _

__“Look its not like he has done this type of thing before.”_ _

__Nikita gave Walter a look that said she thought he needed his head examined. “Yes he has.” Walter just continued cleaning his weapons, listening as his Sugar reached the answers she couldn’t be told. “When we-with- and then-I mean it’s what he dose. After all he- Okay I admit it Walter, I can be so stupid at times!”_ _

__“Bye, Sugar.”_ _

__“Thanks Walter.” His eyes dancing he smiled as she fled the Section._ _

__~~~ >>>~~~_ _

__“Is this a bad time or can I come in?” Michael looked at her a moment and then silently stepped aside, “We need to talk. Please?”_ _

__He didn’t replay directly just started to move into the kitchen, “Can I get you something?”_ _

__“No. Michael I was-what I did well-I should have known.”_ _

____My love is for real. So baby please don’t worry  
I wanna make it better. I wanna be your only love.  
This time I’ll understand you. I’ll never leave your side. ____

____“Nikita there was no-“_ _ _ _

____“Michael let me finish. You’d think after all this time, I would know better. After all it is what you do. I know you wouldn’t really do something like that. You are not the type to string a girl along.” Realizing what she had said, she laughed, “Well not in less it’s a mission. I am not a mission.” Was she? No! Nikita refused to even consider that. “I love you, Michael. I am sorry I didn’t trust you. I can trust you with my life but sometimes I have a hard time with my emotions, but I do love you.”_ _ _ _

____Michael had to admit he hadn’t made it easy for her to do. “Its to be expected.” Okay Michael you are being a cad, Nikita is wearing her heart on her sleeve, and that is all you can think to say?_ _ _ _

____Nikita surprised him by saying, “It is not going to work this time. I love you. If you can’t forgive me or if you don’t want me in your life, say so and I’ll leave. Otherwise, I am not going to let your moodiness drive me away. I love you to much for that.”_ _ _ _

____“Nikita I-“ He was going to put her off again, Nikita realized. She wouldn’t have it._ _ _ _

____“Do you love me, Michael? Do you? Then don’t let me walk out this door,” she turned on her heel and hoped Michael would finally admit to himself what she knew, and at least show her. He didn’t have to say the words, she didn’t expect him to. She just wanted him to show her._ _ _ _

______You told me, you loved me. You said that.  
I need you, you want me. I told you.  
So baby I won’t tease you. I’m gonna make it better  
I wanna be your only love_ _

____“Nikita, Stay please.” She made no move to go, instead studied his face. Michael couldn’t say the words, not now, not yet, maybe never. He did do the one thing he could, he leaned down and kissed her. For now words weren’t necessary._ _ _ _

______This time I’ll understand you. I’ll never leave your side.  
This time its got to be for you. If you ask me how I feel  
My love is for real. ____ _ _


End file.
